Individual Therapy
It can be deeply frustrating and sometimes overwhelming to feel stuck in negative patterns of anxiety, depression, codependency, romantic obsession, anger/irritability, loneliness, restlessness, discontent, etc.
These emotional experiences are of course compounded by chronically conflicted relationships or the loneliness that results from a lack of relationships.
Fortunately, there are things we can do to get ourselves out of our negative ruts.
As the saying goes, “Therapy works if you work it.” In other words, finding a competent and experienced therapist who you feel comfortable with, and investing yourself in your own healing and growth process, is very likely to bring positive results.
Schedule a Consultation
Contact Chris’ office today to inquire about individual therapy.
How often do I meet with Chris?
Some clients want to meet weekly and others want to meet on a biweekly or monthly basis. Some meet with Chris on an ‘as-needed’ basis. Chris’ goal is to work with people in ways that work for them.
How long are the therapy sessions and where do they take place?
Sessions are 50 minutes in duration and are conducted virtually.
Do I need to make some type of commitment?
Chris always encourages people to take it one session at a time—whoever they see as therapist. It’s important to see for yourself if you feel comfortable talking with whatever therapist you choose and if you decide after one or several meetings that it doesn’t feel like a good fit, you should stop seeing that therapist. There are too many good therapists around to short-change yourself by staying in a situation that feels subpar.
How often do people stay in therapy?
This is very varied. Some people want to meet for a few sessions only, and others want to meet for several months. Others seek longer term work. The duration of time to engage in therapy is entirely up to you.
What are your fees and do you take insurance?
See fees & insurance
What should I expect from meeting with Chris?
People tend to feel less overwhelmed and more hopeful rather quickly. And that is just the beginning. Chris’ approach to therapy is about much more than just ‘reducing symptoms’—it is about helping you to identify what’s not working in your life and then helping you to develop tools, strategies and understandings to shape your life and relationships in ways you can feel proud of and excited about.
Relationship & Couples Therapy
Working with couples is a large part of Chris’ psychotherapy practice. It is deeply meaningful work to help romantic partners decrease conflict/distance in the relationship while increasing a sense of harmony, intimacy and teamwork.
Chris works extensively with both straight and gay couples who are either seriously dating, living together, considering marriage, newly married, married for years, on the verge of break up and/or in crisis in some way. Some couples that see Chris are dealing with chronic communication issues that they are finally ready to address and some other couples have been thrust into chaos due to infidelity, addictive behaviors (with substances, pornography, gambling, spending, etc.), financial emergencies, secrets uncovered or a range of other complicated situations.
Whatever your situation is, Chris can help you slow down and create the stability and calm you need in order to work on what needs to be worked on. As Chris helps couples establish a safe-enough environment that is conducive to constructive communication, he also begins helping them to understand what is required from each partner in order to move the relationship in the right direction
Schedule a Consultation
Contact Chris’ office today to inquire about individual therapy.
What happens in couples therapy?
Chris is very active and engaged in each session as you discuss what works in the relationship, what doesn’t work, and what each partner is wanting and needing from the other. Fundamentally Chris does two things:
1. Helps partners better understand the emotional dynamics of their particular relationship and how those dynamics interact with their communication and relational patterns.
2. Provides clear and user-friendly tools that partners can use to get beyond their familiar communication-breakdowns. If partners want more harmony, connection, intimacy and teamwork in their relationship, then there are very specific things they need to be doing and equally specific things they need NOT to be doing in how they communicate and relate to each other. Chris takes great care to ensure that clients are crystal clear on these things.
What's the difference between relationship counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling, and so on?
There is no difference—these are just different names for essentially the same processes. Practitioners around the country (and the world), in many fields, use different phrases and terms depending on their geography, training, history and preferences. What matters most for any couple is to find a practitioner who both partners feel comfortable with and confident in. The practitioner you choose should be able to demonstrate (in the first session and all subsequent sessions) an ability to genuinely help partners take the relationship in desired directions.
What if I have been dissatisfied with previous experiences of couples therapy and relationship counseling?
Many couples Chris has worked with have had less than satisfying experiences in couples therapy before coming to see him. That is deeply unfortunate, and it likely has something to do with the fact that the great majority of therapists are so deeply steeped in individual therapy that they have had far less experience dealing with group/partner/family dynamics. Working with Chris is different because his earliest training 25 years ago was heavily focused on relational dynamics and constructive communication, and he has been building on that knowledge and those experiences ever since. Managing the complexity of different personalities, competing needs, conflicting opinions and strong emotions in each session is something Chris is very familiar with.
What is Chris' style as a couples therapist?
Chris’ approach to couples therapy is down-to-earth, practical and results-oriented. Chris does not sit passively and watch partners fight, a trap many couples therapists fall into. He has no trouble intervening when necessary and guiding the sessions to keep partners on track and productive so they feel they are actually learning and benefitting from the process. Chris help partners develop tools and strategies that they can use—both inside and outside of times of conflict—to enhance the relationship. One of the things that couples benefit from is Chris’ supportive but straightforward approach. He prefers not to beat around the bush but instead to tell couples clearly what he thinks needs to happen in order for the relationship to heal, grow and get better. The safe, respectful and comfortable environment Chris creates with clients in couples therapy allows for new types of conversation between partners, new ways of processing emotions and new ways of connecting with each other.
Is it too early in my relationship to seek couples counseling?
That’s like asking, “Is it too early to hire a personal trainer to get physically healthy?” If a relationship feels like it has potential, but you and your partner are hitting some obstacles, why not do some deeper learning about what you both can do together to neutralize the problems before they fester and become entrenched? Actually a great many of the couples Chris has seen over the years have said, “We wish we’d have come to see you several years back.” As the saying goes, “Better to do preventative medicine than emergency medicine.”
Do you use one particular theory when you do couples counseling?
No, Chris isn’t in favor of anything resembling a “cookie cutter” approach. Throughout the years his approach to couples therapy has been deeply informed by many mentors and colleagues in the NYC therapy world, as well as by my many years of experience as a clinician, supervisor and teacher. Beyond that, his method of practice has been deeply influenced by these seminal thinkers.
Group Therapy
The purpose of group therapy is to help people grow beyond what is keeping them stuck so they can better thrive/flourish in relationships and in life. More specifically it is a place and a process where you can do very valuable healing and learning about the most crucial dimension of human life: forming and maintaining healthy, satisfying & harmonious relationships. There is enormous value to be gained by engaging in the complex work of collaborating with others to build an environment that supports personal healing and growth for all group members.
While Chris is not currently offering group therapy, he is offering a peer-based, emotionally honest group experience and welcomes you to apply.
Chris' Approach
Chris’ therapeutic approach is humanistic, person-centered and grounded in the fundamental principles of human development, motivation and growth-throughout-the-lifespan. While his work is deeply informed by a broad understanding of ‘theory’, he seeks first to be grounded, down-to-earth and human.
People have a lot going on in their minds and emotions when they initially come to therapy so his first priority is to be an active, caring and supportive listener. That said, he also knows that human beings need much more than just a good listener. Thus, he is well versed in and make extensive use of ideas and methods from the range of well-respected theories: cognitive behavioral, attachment, modern psychodynamic, systems, relational, existential, brain plasticity, etc.
The core principles of Chris’ practice are:
- Human beings are fundamentally creative. But due to a combination of influences we can get mired and stuck in uncreative patterns of thinking, feeling, behavior and circumstance—and these patterns form the foundation for depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts and self-defeating behaviors. Therapy can be an extremely robust tool to help us identify, understand and turn these patterns around.
- All human thinking, feeling and behavior develops (and can be re-shaped and re-conditioned) throughout the entire lifespan. And this all occurs in the context of interpersonal relationships. Thus, forming and maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships is a core dimension of psychological/emotional well-being throughout our lives.
- Our emotional and relational lives are highly dependent on our habitual patterns of thinking (i.e. our ‘explanatory styles’, habits of self-talk, core beliefs, the stories we tell ourselves, etc). Fortunately, each of us can learn to monitor, influence and make positive changes to our own habits/patterns of thinking. When we make this part of our recurrent routines, the results multiply exponentially over time.
- The past is always present. It is commonplace for people to believe that “leaving the past behind” is foundational to emotional well-being. This is a very significant misunderstanding. When we face our past and deal with it effectively, we integrate it into (rather than amputate it from) our lives. The depth, richness and internal sense of security that flows from this process of “knowing and owning your history” is quite profound. When this occurs, the past becomes a non-threatening dimension of our lives and there’s no longer a need to “forget about it.” Instead, it becomes a source of self-understanding and personal growth.
beyond theory
While the above principles form the theoretical foundation for my therapeutic work, it is also my belief that there are no simple answers to life’s challenges and no single ‘school of thought’ that eclipses all the rest. It is crucial for therapists to read widely and often, across disciplines and theoretical orientations, and to view professional learning/growth as lifelong endeavors.
If we are to support our clients in thinking for themselves and cultivating independent minds, then we therapists must do the same. Dogma or rigid adherence to any school of thought has no place in effective psychotherapy. What is primary is the building and maintenance of a therapeutic relationship that the client can use for his/her own learning and growth. Relationship building in any context is beyond theory.
the therapeutic relationship: integrating professionalism and personability
A therapeutic relationship characterized by safety, comfort and reliability creates the context that best supports human beings to make the positive changes, internally and externally, that they desire. Thus, our professional posture as therapists must be open, down to earth, engaged and transparent. The distant and passive therapist who “just sits there” analyzing you is no longer acceptable, nor is the excessively empathetic therapist who “feels your pain” but has little else to offer in the way of guidance and direction.
As therapists we must always be increasing our skills not only in the art of listening and understanding, but also in the art of giving direct feedback and providing new perspectives that open doors of possibilities for the people we work with. In truth, there is no single school of thought that has cornered the market on that.