codependency & love addiction: are they the same thing?
There’s not much to be gained by trying to discern the differences in these two concepts. They came into existence and evolved, albeit during different decades, in reference to essentially the same set of dysfunctional patterns that many people exhibit in romantic relationships.
Why do I procrastinate?
If procrastination is so destructive then why do we do it? Why don’t we just create to-do lists and stick to them? The answer is simple: we procrastinate excessively due to unresolved emotional/existential conflicts about our lives.
Is it fear that prevents emotional intimacy? Not exactly.
Fear is too often seen as the cause of emotional disturbances in relationships when, in truth, it is actually more of the effect. The effect of what? Insufficient experience and inadequate learning.
can porn really be an addiction?
Drug and alcohol addiction are often likened to cancer in that they develop in stages, with stage 4 literally being deadly. Addiction to porn develops in stages as well, and while no one will die from using porn, there are many, many people who are experiencing the potential or actual “death” of their healthy sex drives, self-esteem and important relationships.
Is your childhood keeping you from building healthy relationships?
Inside and outside of the psychotherapy office, it’s not unusual to hear someone say, “The past is in the past.” Actually, when it comes to relationships, the past is always present. In this regard, the important question to ask yourself when attempting to build healthy relationships is: HOW is the past present?
psychotherapy & spirituality
I met Elizabeth Dickson in the mid-1990’s and her impact on my life and career has been beyond measurable. The combination of her worldliness, her passions, her integrity and her authenticity allowed her to form very real, warm and eminently helpful relationships with clients and colleagues alike.
Irvin Yalom, master therapist
How pleasantly surprised I was recently to see Irvin Yalom’s article in the New York Times’ Sunday Review section. Reading it brought tears to my eyes—partly because the article itself was so moving but mostly because it brought to mind the span of Yalom’s long and mighty career and the profound impact he’s had on so many of us.
relationships require emotional creativity
Emotional creativity involves relating to your own negative emotional reactions as raw material with which to build and create. Once you take this perspective, you will no longer see yourself as a passive victim of your own negative emotions. Nor will you allow yourself to believe that your partner is “making you” feel this way.
helping men be more needy
There’s a particular challenge to discussing emotional needs in therapy with men because our social conditioning so often idealizes being macho, playing it cool, being detached and above it all, etc. In reality this hyper-guarded and aloof posture that men are explicitly and implicitly trained to assume turns into a private hell over time.
codependency & personal power
Far too many people have learned to automatically and habitually give away their personal power. Without realizing what they’re doing, they repeatedly idealize other people (particularly authority figures and romantic interests) and then subjugate themselves to those people.